I'm not sure if I know the answer to my title. In a month, it has been 4 years now since our very first miscarriage in July 2005 which started our journey toward another child. We have applied for adoption and had 2 young ladies consider us. They chose other families. We have had genetic testing to see if there is a reason for our 3 miscarriages. (We are waiting on the results.) Addie will turn 6 in September and starts Kindergarten in August. A few of my friends have said, do you really want to go all the way back to babies? Some days I am not sure. Others have said, "don't give up! They will have a special relationship." The truth of the matter is I want Addie to have the joy of a sibling and the sibling relationship especially in adulthood. Of all the trials and heartaches, I know one thing. I am not in charge of her destiny or even my own. I know God controls our answer, whether the result is in another child or not. So, do we give up? How much more money do we throw at what may not be God's choice for us? We have options, with adoption, in vitro fertilization, insemination, and of course, continuing to try on our own. But, when does it end? Will we know when we've tried enough? I don't know. How much farther do we go? We will of course keep our adoption options open, and pray God answers us. What if He does not answer us with a child? A child we have prayed for earnestly for 4 years. I know His ways are better, it's just so hard to let go of what you want.
Isaiah 55:8-9 (New Living Translation)
8 “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. 9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.
