Bah HUMBUG!

I used to LOVE Christmas . . . There are still many things I do love about Christmas, however there are many things I do not! I find myself every year getting lost in the busyness and stressing to find just the "right" gift for everyone. Part of me wants to be thoughtful and let people know I am trying to think of them, and part of me just wants to buy things and be done with it already! You know? Let's face it, all most all of us have what we want. (Except world peace.) I am also not a great spender of money, although I am getting better which means financially I am getting worse! It just kills me to think I spent a dollar more when I could have gotten it cheaper elsewhere. Alas, I will finish my shopping this week best prices or not.

Things I like about Christmas
1. Getting to be Santa Claus
2. The elf on the shelf (Addie loves this!)
3. The decorations
4. Baking Christmas Goodies
5. Christmas Carols
6. Being sneaky
7. Spending time with family and friends!
8. No school for Addie- getting to spend time with her and SLEEPING IN!

Things I don't like about Christmas
1. Trying to divide time between families.
2. SHOPPING!
3. CROWDS!
4. Being TOO BUSY!
5. Trying to buy presents for people who have everything they want and have no ideas to give you.
6. CROWDS! (yes, I know I already had this on the list. I REALLY don't like it.)
7. My house looking like Christmas threw up everywhere until we get it organized and decorated.
8. Stores not having everything they advertise!
9. Missing my Grandpa.

I hope to take a moment this season to remember, God- all powerful, holy, all sufficient, and majestic, loved us enough to humble Himself and become flesh. He did not come to become King, but as a servant, a helpless baby. He trusted the very people, who had proved untrustworthy, just so He could have a relationship with you and me. His birth brought all of us life. May we be thankful, grateful people, for all it cost the Holy God to walk among us.

Welcome to Our World . . . Chris Rice

Fragile fingers sent to heal us

Tender brow prepared for thorns

Tiny heart whose blood will save us

Unto us is born

Unto us is born

So wrap our injured flesh around you

Breathe our air and walk our sod

Rob our sin and make us holy

Perfect Son of God

Perfect Son of God

Welcome to Our World . . .

Bulgaria! Here we come!!!

There are 147 million orphans in this world. It's time to do something. After much prayer and tears, we have chosen to adopt from Bulgaria! We are very excited and cannot wait to see what God is going to do through us and in us.

1. Why Bulgaria? We chose Bulgaria for many reasons. The program offers children from various ages, but we will likely be placed with a child from ages 2-4. The program has only 2 short trips to make, instead of long stays in country. Also, Bulgaria is a country we thought we might like to revisit with our children. The country is just on top of Greece, which I've always wanted to see!

2. How long will it take? We don't know for sure! As with all international adoptions, there are no guarantees. We hope to be bringing our child home next year at this time. It could be much shorter or it could take 18 months at the longest. We are trying to prepare ourselves for a long wait.

3. Boy or Girl? We have decided not to choose! So this will be another big surprise for us! (Those of you who know me, and know I am a planner must be SHOCKED! We just really felt led to let God do the choosing. It will also help our wait time.)

4. How does Addie feel about all this? She is SOOOOOOO EXCITED! She is telling just about everyone we meet that we are going to get her a baby brother or sister from Bulgaria. She has been bringing home maps of Bulgaria from school, and praying for her new brother or sister.

5. What will the child look like? They have olive skin, dark brown hair, and dark brown eyes.

6. How much does it cost? About $28,000. I know it's a lot of money. Believe me, I know. (If any of you have extra money lying around . . .)

7. What agency are you using? Hopscotch Adoptions in North Carolina. For some reason (we believe is the Lord) I just kept feeling drawn to it.

Please pray with us as we walk this new journey. It's finally time to move forward in this area of our lives. We are very excited, but there are many new challenges that await us. Pray for our transition, and the transition of this precious child who may soon be ours who lives a world away from us RIGHT NOW! This child is already born, living in an orphanage with no family to call their own. I cannot help the 147 million orphans around the world, but I can love one.

Uncertainty

In our Sunday School class at church, we've been doing a series on marriage. We've been looking back at those first years of marriage and comparing how our lives have changed since then. Our first 2 years of marriage were a blissful time for us. After spending almost 2 years long distance dating, it was wonderful just to be near each other daily. We had our struggles, but they were mostly financial. God always provided in those lean times. I was thinking in class a couple of weeks ago, how wonderful it was to really TRUST God for things. We had so many needs, we depended on His goodness DAILY. We lived simply, because we had no other choice. We still need the Lord as much as we did then, really even more. I know I take for granted things God has blessed us with, especially financial blessings. Now, each paycheck pays for all the things we need and more. It is a HUGE blessing, but one I regretfully take for granted. I found myself wanting to trust the Lord like that again.

Be careful what you wish for. . . It's been a difficult week for us. There's so much going on we are having to trust God for, and prayerfully decide what we need to do in so many areas. BIG things. These decisions may take us completely out of what we envisioned our next few years to look like.

There has been a country song which I have listened to so many times. The song is "Red Light" by David Nail. I am relating to the lyrics about how I am feeling. Not about our marriage, but about the pain. When you are hurting deeply, it seems like everywhere you look life is continuing as normal for everyone else while your world is crashing down around you. Guess it's time to trust God. Really trust Him . . .

The Birthday Letter

This year was a BIG birthday time for Addie. We decided to have her birthday party with friends at Wizard Animation Studios, where the kids are able to star in a movie with 4 other friends and bring home the DVD of their movie. (Addie has watched her movie about 100 times.) It was a great party, and they did a super job. The kids had a great time, and Justin and I didn't have to do ANYTHING! They had a special for HALF OFF, which was so much cheaper than doing anything else. We were so blessed to have the Millages come in for a visit that weekend and celebrate with us. The next weekend our families came in to help us celebrate her actual birthday. It was all birthday all the time for a while. We've already decided next year we will let her have a few friends over for sleep over and not do a BIG party.

Along with all the celebrations there is one thing I do every year for Addie, I write her a birthday letter. I have not been good about keeping a baby book, or even scrapbooks. She will have thousands of pictures to look through, but nothing that marks the year for her in what she has been doing. The letter always includes the activities she's been doing that year, the songs and TV shows she likes, favorite books, what our family has been through, the food she likes, vacations and experiences, and the things I love about her. I keep each letter in what I call my "Mama" box, which is where I keep my favorite drawings, programs, and special things she has done. Some day, she will be able to read these words and remember who she was and how she was. It is my hope to write more letters to her as she grows up on specific topics, like dating, marriage, my relationship with the Lord, etc. Here is the last paragraph from last year's letter.

I cannot even begin to express my love for you. You have such a pure heart, and it is so tender. I am really trying hard to be a good Mom. You have made me a better person, just for knowing you and loving you. Someday I pray you will become a Mom, and know just exactly how much you can love someone. I just love you more than my heart can hold. You are such a big girl and growing up so fast. I wish there was a way I could just freeze you right now and not let you grow up. I am already sad knowing kindergarten is just months away, and I won’t have you every day with me. You are my sweet little friend, and I am so honored God chose you to be my daughter. I look forward to the day when you begin your relationship with Christ. I will be so excited to share that journey with you too! He has been my foundation, and I hope He will be yours too. Christ is the reason for life, and in Him you will find your purpose. He loves us more than we can ever imagine and someday we will see Him face to face. I am so excited to spend each day with you and you are my “I love you!”

My hope for these letters is that she will remember what God has brought us through, who we are in these moments of time. If something ever happened to me, she will always know how much I love her and be able to see a glimpse of who I am. In this world of facebook, twitter updates, and email, I encourage you to WRITE LETTERS to those who mean so much to you. They are truly gifts.

Gracie's Birthday

(As I am typing this, I am becoming emotional!) Our 1/2 Pug and 1/2 French bulldog is turning 9 years old today! Gracie is really my first dog. We had dogs until I was about 8 years old, so I don't remember them well. My grandparents had dogs we claimed, and some were very special. Gracie surpasses all of them. She has been through so much with us. From moves to vacations to Addie's birth, she has been our constant companion and friend. The only reason I am even a little sad today is because I don't know how much longer we will have with Gracie, my hope is years. If only dogs could have the same life expectancy as we do!

We got her around Halloween in 2000, and carried her in a plastic pumpkin through Walmart while we bought new dog things. We named her "Gracie" after the church we had just moved away from in Knoxville. We spoiled her, loved her, trained her, and enjoyed how much she added to our lives. Gracie has always been great with Addie. When Addie was a newborn, I would lay her on our bed while I showered. There were times I would come out only to find Gracie and Addie snuggled together on our bed. Gracie never took food from Addie, and she was protective of her. To this day, Gracie enjoys playing with Addie. Gracie seems older and older to me now, as she sometimes limps from bad hips. She is still the same wonderful dog we love so much, but she just can't do everything she once could do. Aging is a terrible thing. I will spend today being thankful for the 9 years we have had with her, and praying for more!

KINDERGARTEN!!!

The truth is, I suffer from separation anxiety, not in a medication sort of way, but in a I REALLY miss you sort of way. The start of Kindergarten was a much dreaded event for me. Coming home to no kids might sound like heaven to you, but it was something I was not ready for. Of course this is not the master plan, as we are headed to international adoption. I did start a very part-time job teaching music at a preschool a couple days a week to curb my anxiety and earn some money for the adoption. Here are some things I have learned from Addie's first week of school.

1. Home-schooling is a beautiful option. (I now understand why people do it! Getting up early every day to fight through traffic, only to LEAVE my favorite little person there is not FUN!)

2. Addie is more ready for Kindergarten than I am.

3. The grocery is not as fun without my little friend, but it is much faster.

4. Maybe I only stayed up late because I could get up late! I am finding myself asleep before 11:00 pm at night!!! This has not happened to me since MIDDLE SCHOOL!

5. I have authority issues! I do not like to follow someone else's schedule.

6. Addie is the slowest breakfast eater.

7. Addie is not a morning person, and that is very hard since I am not either.

8. It's weird to see Wes King and Steven Curtis Chapman when dropping your child off at school. I grew up singing their songs, and I even wrote SCC fan mail in high school. Weird.

9. I think the tough thing about beginning Kindergarten is the BIG picture. This is the end of Addie being at home more than she's at school. Ugh, there's that home-school thought again. . .

10. Summer is the most wonderful time of the year.

To conclude, this week was only half days! Let's see how it goes for full days. . .

End of the Summer. . .

Never before have I dreaded an end to Summer more than this year. Maybe it was the start of Kindergarten, maybe it was the BEAUTIFUL weather this Summer, or maybe it was the end of no routine and sleeping in. Regardless, I have mourned these last few days as we start a new chapter in our lives. I thought I would include some of my favorite Summer pictures.

*** For those of you who have asked about "31" mentioned in the earlier post . . . It was AWESOME! God really used it in a big way. The teachers did an outstanding job, and the surveys gave the night a "9" or "10" overall. God also brought good beyond the night as we have new visitors, as well as new relationships that came from "31." There are so many good stories from it, and thank you to all who prayed!